Tom
August 21, 2011 | Filed Under Cast of Characters | Leave a Comment
I met Tom in 1970. I was seventeen and he was the ripe old age of twenty-one. He emailed me on my birthday this year, “I may be one of the few people who remembers your eighteenth birthday.” I laughed and wrote back, “you may be the only person in the world who remembers my eighteenth birthday”.
Tom has a photographic memory. He remembers every phone number he ever had. He can recite poetry and legal cases with equal ease. When we met, he had just graduated from Stanford University with a B.A. in philosophy. His father, mother, and grandfather all studied at Stanford. His grandparents were married in the chapel. Tom came from a family that was considerably more sophisticated than mine. He was well-rounded in all the places I was rough. After we married, we travelled to England, and Germany, I worked while he went to law school and he worked while I finished my undergraduate studies. Tom then followed in his family tradition and became one of the youngest judges in America.
Beyond being a great father to Eric and Kristian, Tom is a nice guy. In fact, everyone who meets him says that he is the nicest person they have ever met. He was very generous with me. He nurtured my desire to be an artist and was a gentleman when I decided to leave our marriage to pursue my career. He will always be one of my dearest friends. He is retired now, living part of the year in Colorado and part of the year in a house he built on a lake in Guatemala.
When one is going through a divorce, managing difficult situations, it is important to remember the bigger picture. You won’t always be fighting over possessions or hurt feelings but you will always have your children. I know it is not easy to be disciplined but seeing something good in the other parent is one of the nicest gifts you can give your children.
I have always been grateful that my son had a father who read great books to him. Tom also bought Kristian his first Apple computer when he was only four years old. This was at a time when no one could have predicted the impact of the personal computer on our economy and our future. He also made certain that Kristian had any instrument he wanted to play, including a violin, saxophone, piano, and guitar.
I learned from Tom that no matter how much or how little money you have, it is always possible to share the gift of gratitute and a generous heart with your children. And someday, when you least expect it, your children will thank you for taking the high road.
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